Arguments.
Why do I always get pulled in? I try and be considerate, and the more I try and appease others, the more apoplectic the anger gets—torrents of it. I wonder if trying to be “nice” is the reason. I remember when I would defend myself with vigour, and I never seemed to get as hurt in an argument. I protected myself with anger. Now I try empathy, and I feel lost at sea.
Do others feel the same? Maybe I am the issue, and I’m just telling myself that I am using empathy. Perhaps what I say is misconstrued? Do people really enjoy knowing that you “understand?” I feel I no longer understand myself or others. Is this a new shield of righteous thought that allows me to feel superior to everyone, even if I tell myself I am not.
Am I locking myself away? Am I trying to hide my emotions and use some rational super thinking to absolve myself of feelings? I am not Mr Spock. Although, I do feel like blasting off into space and never having to come back. Do we ever really understand other people? We have never really lived their experiences, their thoughts. How can we make a judgement that we understand them?
I mean, I don’t even feel that I truly understand myself. Is it possible to truly understand ourselves, or is this just another Hollywood trope or meaningless cliche for rich people to buy into?
The Novel is Dying 
sometimes there is value in trying to see other people’s perspectives, not that we have to agree with them, but if we can start to understand them it helps us put our own beliefs into perspective. Perhaps we can know ourselves better by trying to know others?
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I think having empathy for other people and ideas is a great thing, I just wonder if people sometimes feel patronised by it.
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